Soothing the Battle
by teamcabot
Summary: This is my first story since returning from a three-year hiatus. Love it, hate it, or in between, I'd love to hear from you! Pairing: A/O. Rated T for now even though the first chapter isn't much, but will likely end as M.
1. Chapter 1

After every case, Olivia Benson swears that's it. That's the end. That's all the hurt and pain and emotion she can take before a desk job in a nice, well-lit office with a comfortable, faux-leather chair calls her name. She makes this declaration of quittance each time, but every day she straps on her gun, pockets her badge, and reports for the day at the Manhattan 16th Precinct.

Usually, as much as her job often cripples her internally, Olivia can go home, recover, and show up the following day ready to face whatever may plague the city at any given hour having no one be the wiser to the struggle she regularly battles. Elliot, Fin, Munch…they're just the guys at work. They get it, and they deal in their own way. They always had each other's' backs but that didn't mean they had to talk about everything that had happened, especially the emotions that occasionally seem to come right along with everything else whether they were wanted or not.

On this particular Friday afternoon, Olivia had already dealt with much more than any person should be handed. Closing the day on an arraignment which had not been finalized with a remanded defendant that was a very obvious flight risk, Olivia now sat at her desk and contemplated two options to finish off her work week. One, she could head home, settle on her old-but-comfortable sofa (that was really more of a futon left over from her very first apartment; she was making it work) or roam off for a drink or two to clear her mind. Absentmindedly deciding on the latter, she also opts to avoid the normal dive for somewhere in the upper east side, maybe somewhere she wouldn't have to worry about being around people she knew and would be expected to hold a conversation with. Hitting the switch on her desk lamp, she grabbed her leather jacket off the back of her metal chair and hustled out the door without a word.

Olivia wasn't drunk. Wasn't drunk yet, but was still relatively sober nonetheless. About halfway through her second NYC Craft, she realized that maybe drinking tonight would be a bad idea. When she drank, she thought of all the things she spent the entire day pushing into the back recesses of her mind. Alex.

Alex had been with SVU for a few months now; about the same about of time that Alex had also, unknowingly, had Olivia's heart. But that was neither here nor there. Olivia had a strict try-not-to rule about dating coworkers, especially ones who were likely straight, not attracted to her, and not anywhere close to in her league.

It was then that she saw yet another Craft appear in front of her, alongside a fishbowl glass filled halfway with a deep red merlot. Glancing up at the bartender ready to inquire where the unrequested bottle had appeared from, Olivia spotted long, alabaster fingers wrap around the globe-like merlot and retreat.


	2. Chapter 2

Several days had passed since the detective and the assistant district attorney crossed paths. If Olivia was entirely honest with herself, she hadn't done much to bridge the separation. Her mind hadn't slowed for a second since last week at the pub. What was Alex doing there, seemingly alone and seemingly aware that the detective would be there as well? It wasn't a usual haunt; it wasn't even on the map of occasional visits.

The following Thursday afternoon, the precinct was eerily quiet. No new leads, no new cases, not even a phone call had requested an officer's presence. Snow had begun to fall several hours ago across the city and was piling up quickly which was becoming the source of blame for the boredom that settled in the office. Staff had begun to trickle out, not feeling the need to stick around for a quiet afternoon that would cause travel difficulties after dark.

So when the familiar sound of clicking resonated down the hall, Olivia felt her heart tighten in her chest as her breath shallowed. She didn't nearly have enough time to prepare herself and will the flush from her cheeks before Alex was pushing open the double doors and strutting into the SVU offices.

"Nothing for me today?" Alex asks of no one in particular.

"Not even a petty theft," Munch pipes in as he crosses the room for the hundredth time, pacing in the silence of the afternoon.

"Any follow-ups on the Gibbs case?" Alex probes.

"Not a thing. From anywhere," Fin replies as he leans back in his chair, forcing the metal to creak harshly. "It's like the world's gone dead, probably froze to death out there."

"Then I guess we're at a standstill. Keep me updated and try to put the pressure on any leads," Alex replies as she turns to leave, letting the old doors swing closed behind her. And it's at that, Olivia realizes, that Alex never even glanced in her direction.


	3. Chapter 3

I realize it's been about six months since I last updated (and in that time I've gotten a new tablet/laptop that I can't type well on at all), but this update is for the "Guest" who cared enough after that amount of time updateless to ask for another chapter. Also, you said "please." :)

I hope you enjoy it.

Olivia felt her brow furrow as she watched the doors swing closed. Crossing her arms across her chest, Olivia turned to look at Elliot across from her.

"Was that weird to you?" She asked, praying her voice was even in the vicinity of normal.

"What?" Elliot replied, all of his energy focused onto trying to make his pencil appear to be made of rubber rather than wood.

"Cabot. Felt kind of like a brush off," Olivia explained, studying Elliot for some kind of reaction.

"No more than normal," he replied, dropping the pencil and wandering off to find something else worthy enough to waste some time on.

Olivia reclined in the old metal chair, the creaks lost in her thoughts. It seems like her thoughts have been falling back more and more to the Assistant District Attorney. Tentatively, she toys with the idea of swinging by Alex's office in the morning. What was the worst that could happen?

Just a little heartbreak, is all.


	4. Chapter 4

Just as promised, an update! Plus I got a new keyboard, finally, so my typing time has grown exponentially. As always, reviews are appreciated.

Olivia didn't visit Alex's office the next morning. Or the next. Not even the morning after that. Olivia didn't work herself up to visiting Alex for any justifiable reason for two weeks.

The snow continued to stagger on and off for several hours before Olivia decided that if she didn't leave the precinct soon, Alex would have left her office in the Manhattan District Attorney's building just a short walk away. Not that Alex ever left early, but Olivia kept this fact from herself as motivation to gather her things and step out into the slushy sidewalks. She found a small coffee kiosk in between the two offices and bought two large cups, hers decaffeinated and Alex's with a double-shot.

As she walked, Olivia wondered what she would even say to Alex. Should she tell her she was just missing her? That might be strange. She certainly couldn't drop…other feelings on her. Not at this point. Probably not ever. She had gotten herself so distracted that she very nearly plowed over the A.D.A. leaving the office as she was on her way in.

"Detective," Alex said coolly, glancing first at Olivia and then out onto the street.

"Alex, sorry, I didn't even see you there," Olivia stammered, shooting a questioning glance at Alex who, although leaving the office, bore no briefcase or even a folder, for that matter.

"No problem. I'll uh…I'll see you around," Alex replied, side-stepping around the brunette.

"Wait, hold on a second. I was just stopping by to see you. I brought you some coffee," she said, suddenly feeling very lame and not at all confident in her decision to stop by. She watched Alex's face for any reaction and was surprised to see her slump slightly, as though feeling defeated.

"Thanks," the A.D.A. replied quietly, reaching for the cup. Olivia held on just a second longer as she watched Alex's fingers curl around the hot Styrofoam, wishing inadvertently those fingers were curling in between her own instead. Olivia shook the thought.

"Where are you headed?"

"Just…out. Around. I had to get out of the office. I thought I'd take a quick walk."

"It's freezing."

"I like it."

"Oh," Olivia stood on the stoop, shuffling her feet slightly around in the slush. The awkward silence became earshatteringly loud. Alex sighed quietly, casting her gaze down the street.

"Would you like to join me?" She asked, not returning her gaze to Olivia. She could say no. It would be okay. Alex just didn't want to see it.

"Um…" Olivia began, her mind telling her to absolutely reject the invitation while her heart said to absolutely accept. Accept, accept, accept. "I, um."

"It's okay. Maybe some other time," Alex replied, her guard returning as she turned away and began her walk.

"Alex, wait," Olivia called, hurrying off the stoop.


End file.
